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sgallan

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« on: April 22, 2009, 07:34:19 PM »
18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

 
  1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on  demand.

  2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

  3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are  more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of  Chinese and North Korean communists.

 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms  driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being  homosexual is natural.

 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal  funding.

 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
 activists do.

 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually  doing something to earn it.

 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money  to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more  important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,  and Thomas Edison. (Mc/: Or that Teddy Kennedy is a greater American than  Teddy Roosevelt. )

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial  quota s and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA

ooops, can't do that either
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by sgallan »

Offline Jimmy the Gent

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« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2009, 07:37:37 PM »
Bravo Gallan!  that is funny stuff  ;)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Jimmy the Gent »
"Jimmy, I understand your point and technically your logic is sound."  --Viratas

Offline Jimmy the Gent

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« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2009, 07:40:57 PM »
18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD CONSERVATIVE:


1. You have to be against abortion, but support capital punishment on demand.

2. You have to believe that governments create oppression and businesses create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that the man wearing a turban in the airport is more of a terrorist than the white man carrying a concealed gun.

4. You have to believe that federal funding is a handout and that disadvantaged people should be able to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps," just like you and your daddy and his daddy before him.

5. You have to believe that someone made up global warming to scare you into not driving that gas-guzzling SUV.

6. You have to believe that being sexually confused is an abomination that God hates.

7. You have to believe that the people advocating those afflicted with AIDS should "stop whining."

8. You have to believe that if schools don’t provide sex education and/or condoms, then kids just won’t think about sex and it will all just go away.

9. You have to believe that animal rights activists aren’t doing "what God intended," but hunters are.

10. You have to believe that if someone has fallen on hard times it is their own fault and they should be given no help.

11. You have to believe that God lives in your own little box and that He hates all the same things and people you do.

12. You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution.

13. You have to believe that the tax on your yacht is too high and that the homeless man isn’t being taxed enough.

14. You have to believe that the contributions to American history made by Caucasian men are more important than those made by women and African-Americans.

15. You have to believe that Black History Month is reverse racism, but the Confederate flag is just a historical symbol.

16. You have to believe that any war we fight is for a good reason, because the president said so.

17. You have to believe that God loves everyone, except for gay people.

18. You have to believe that this message is part of a crazy, left-wing revolution.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Jimmy the Gent »
"Jimmy, I understand your point and technically your logic is sound."  --Viratas

Offline bigokieguy

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« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2009, 07:41:48 PM »
Quote from: "Jimmy the Gent"
Bravo Gallan!  that is funny stuff  ;)
Wasn't Gallan was describing himself ?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by bigokieguy »

sgallan

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« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2009, 07:52:28 PM »
Oh BOG, you so don't know me....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. If it is drop dead evidence then I am for Capital punishment. I have no problem with any laws against abortion about 21 weeks.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. Not even close.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. China is a bit of a stretch but otherwise.... nope.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding. I have been teaching poetry for the past six weeks. Not a lot of federally funded poets.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
- Silly

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, - No, you can see the difference between boys and girls when they are under a year old. but being homosexual is natural. Mostly.
 
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. Silly

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. Cheap shot at teachers. It is why I would never actually become a full-time k-12 teacher. You get paid like crap and people take cheap shots at you.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do. Hunters do for sure. PETA does in an odd way.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. I am a wrestling coach. I have gotten in trouble by parents because I told their kids how they wrestled.  

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only. Don't know, don't care.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. This was an excellent point.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. Silly.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison. (Mc/: Or that Teddy Kennedy is a greater American than Teddy Roosevelt. ) Uh... not.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quota s and set-asides are not. Good point. I took my kid out of public school because they teach to the test.  

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge. Unless you are a libertarian you are a socialist - you just have different priorities.  

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. I love Manger scenes!

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy. I don't do conspiracies.  

GOD BLESS AMERICA

ooops, can't do that either
Bless American all you want. People tell me they are praying for Reni all of the time. I rather like that.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by sgallan »

Offline ViseGrip

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« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2009, 09:40:15 AM »
Quote from: "sgallan"
Oh BOG, you so don't know me....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. If it is drop dead evidence then I am for Capital punishment. I have no problem with any laws against abortion about 21 weeks.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. Not even close.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. China is a bit of a stretch but otherwise.... nope.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding. I have been teaching poetry for the past six weeks. Not a lot of federally funded poets.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
- Silly

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, - No, you can see the difference between boys and girls when they are under a year old. but being homosexual is natural. Mostly.
 
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. Silly

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. Cheap shot at teachers. It is why I would never actually become a full-time k-12 teacher. You get paid like crap and people take cheap shots at you.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do. Hunters do for sure. PETA does in an odd way.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. I am a wrestling coach. I have gotten in trouble by parents because I told their kids how they wrestled.  

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only. Don't know, don't care.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. This was an excellent point.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. Silly.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison. (Mc/: Or that Teddy Kennedy is a greater American than Teddy Roosevelt. ) Uh... not.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quota s and set-asides are not. Good point. I took my kid out of public school because they teach to the test.  

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge. Unless you are a libertarian you are a socialist - you just have different priorities.  

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. I love Manger scenes!

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy. I don't do conspiracies.  

GOD BLESS AMERICA

ooops, can't do that either
Bless American all you want. People tell me they are praying for Reni all of the time. I rather like that.
ooops, can't do that either Bless American all you want. People tell me they are praying for Reni all of the time. I rather like that.

You sure have a funny way of showing it sometimes.
(FWIW... I've been praying for not just her, but her family and her doctors)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by ViseGrip »
"The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all that want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics" -Thomas Sowell

Offline Tubalard

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« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2009, 09:47:07 AM »
Quote from: "sgallan"
18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

 
  1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on  demand.

  2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

  3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are  more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of  Chinese and North Korean communists.

 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms  driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being  homosexual is natural.

 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal  funding.

 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
 activists do.

 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually  doing something to earn it.

 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money  to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more  important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,  and Thomas Edison. (Mc/: Or that Teddy Kennedy is a greater American than  Teddy Roosevelt. )

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial  quota s and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA

ooops, can't do that either
18 ways to be a good conservative:

1-18:  Just do the opposite of your list.  Its equally ridiculous!!!

May the earth, which has a fever, get better soon!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Tubalard »
Abortion is the violent act of ending human development.

Protect the precious life of your young at all cost.