Author Topic: Have you had any major surgeries?  (Read 1650 times)

Offline TobusRex

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Have you had any major surgeries?
« on: November 02, 2015, 11:31:27 AM »
I didn't mention it before because it's embarr
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assing and a bit personal, but I had penile reduction surgery the damn thing used to get stepped on in public showers. Once at the gym a guy tripped over it and knocked his front teeth out on the shower wall. I couldn't believe how much blood there was. I tried to help. I started over but tripped over it myself and hit my left knee pretty hard on the floor. I was sure it was broken. Before I could stop crying like an infant the other poor fellow bled out and died. Apparently he was a hemophiliac. Then the lights went off. I'd forgotten it was nearly closing time in all the excitement. There was no way I could make it all the way over to my locker with a major leg injury. It would be at least another 8 hours before I was discovered, and I hadn't eaten in almost 45 minutes. If I was going to survive I would have to resort to cannibalism.

The next morning I was found laying in a puddle of excrement with bloodstained lips, a grossly distended belly, and a partially devoured human corpse was sprawled facedown on the floor next to me. Oddly, the buttocks were completely gone. I was rushed to the hospital and treated for a mild bruise to my knee.

Thank God for penile reduction surgery.
Have you got to get rid of all your knowledge and all your common sense to save your soul? - Clarence Darrow

Offline fsgrecofolk

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Re: Have you had any major surgeries?
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2015, 12:44:25 PM »
Said no one ever

Offline TobusRex

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Re: Have you had any major surgeries?
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2015, 09:21:27 PM »
Said no one ever

Somehow I screwed it up and a bunch of emoticon horsecrap got in there. Anyway, I thought it was a pretty good yarn :P
Have you got to get rid of all your knowledge and all your common sense to save your soul? - Clarence Darrow

Offline fsgrecofolk

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Re: Have you had any major surgeries?
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2015, 10:39:16 PM »
It was funny, I will give you that.

Offline RYou

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Re: Have you had any major surgeries?
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2015, 11:24:09 PM »
Said no one ever

Somehow I screwed it up and a bunch of emoticon horsecrap got in there. Anyway, I thought it was a pretty good yarn yawn:P